dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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