Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we're making bets on your personal life
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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