I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
