He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
