I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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