He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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