Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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