Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize