pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
