I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
