You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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