I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
