i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
