like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
