Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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