The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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