his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
