I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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