I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Can I color on your dick again?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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