i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
