just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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