Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

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(813): View more from Florida

The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"

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(815): View more from Illinois

Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

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(786): View more from Florida

What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?

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(727): View more from Florida

pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor

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