I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.