Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
