You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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