so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
