In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
