Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize