new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I cut my penus on the lid.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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