As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
