yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
