Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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