I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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