hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
