do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
