its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
