I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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