Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I could have mohawked her pubes.
honey bunches of taint.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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