Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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