I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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