I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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