WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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