is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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