Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
