Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.

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(314): View more from Missouri

she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this

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(315): View more from New York

My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.

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(518): View more from New York

I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.

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