you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
