it hurts more in the daytime
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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