just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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