so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
