Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize