i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
