i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
