Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
