okay pat passed out under dana's car
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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