Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
