My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
