also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
