If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
