Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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