i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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