were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
