Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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