Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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