Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
