for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
