He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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