I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
